Stop Striving and Start Hearing God: Mind Renewal, Identity, and Real Connection with the Holy Spirit

Written By Brenda Kennison

This blog is from EP44 & EP45 of The Day One of Sobriety Podcast

What if the problem isn’t that God is distant… but that you’ve been trying to connect the wrong way?

You can love God…

You can know Jesus…

And still feel like something isn’t connecting.

That quiet frustration? It’s more common than you think.

And it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

The Exhaustion No One Talks About

There was a season in my life where I was completely burned out.

Trying to fix everything.

Please everyone.

Get it all right.

And underneath it all?

Anxiety. Depression. Cycles I couldn’t break.

I thought I was living for God.

But what I didn’t realize was this:

I was striving… instead of learning how to live from Him.

And striving will wear you out every single time.

The Shift That Changes Everything

Jesus didn’t come to make your life slightly better.

He came to completely change how you relate to God.

Through the New Covenant, everything shifted.

From performance… to relationship.

From distance… to access.

From striving… to receiving.

God already did His part.

You are forgiven. You are accepted. You are adopted. You have access.

Your part?

Learning how to live from what’s already been given.

You’re Royalty… But Your Mind Doesn’t Know It Yet

Let me give you a picture.

In The Princess Diaries, Mia discovers she’s royalty.

But her life doesn’t instantly look like it.

She has to learn how to think differently. Move differently. Live differently.

That’s exactly what happens in your walk with God.

You don’t become a child of God over time.

You become one instantly.

But your thinking?

Still wired from your past.

And here’s the truth:

You can have access to everything… and still live like you have nothing.

That’s where mind renewal comes in.

Why You Still Feel Stuck (Even When You Know Truth)

Your brain doesn’t automatically update to match your new identity.

It follows what it already knows.

Old thoughts. Old patterns. Old reactions.

And whatever you think about most… grows.

So if your thoughts are still rooted in fear, shame, or your old identity…

That’s what your life will reflect.

This is where Scripture and science meet.

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

You don’t transform by trying harder.

You transform by rewiring how you think.

Before We Go Further… There’s an Important Foundation

I want to pause here for a moment—because this part matters more than anything else we’re talking about.

Everything in this post—access, identity, connection with the Holy Spirit—begins with one decision.

A relationship with Jesus.

The New Covenant we talked about… the access to God… the indwelling of the Holy Spirit—

Those are not things you earn.

But they are things you receive.

And they begin when you say yes to Jesus—not just knowing about Him, but surrendering your life to Him.

Because here’s the truth:

You can believe in God…

You can even feel drawn to Him…

But without being born again—without receiving Jesus—

You don’t yet have the Holy Spirit living inside of you as your guide.

And that’s not said to exclude you.

It’s an invitation.

An invitation into relationship.

An invitation into access.

An invitation into a completely new way of living.

If you’ve never made that decision, this is where everything begins.

And if you’re unsure, or want to understand it more clearly, I encourage you to visit the Day One of Sobriety website where I walk through this step simply and clearly.

Because everything we’re about to talk about—

Only becomes real… when He lives in you.

The Missing Piece: Learning How to Connect with God

Now let’s take this one step deeper.

You have access to God.

But many people still feel disconnected.

Why?

Because they’re trying to hear God with the wrong part of them.

You are a three-part being:

Body. Soul. Spirit.

And God communicates Spirit to spirit.

Not primarily through your thoughts.

Not through emotional highs.

But through a quiet, steady connection in your spirit.

And if your soul is loud—

Racing thoughts. Overwhelming emotions. Constant noise—

You’ll miss what’s actually there.

Not because God isn’t speaking.

But because you’re not tuned in yet.

The Holy Spirit: Your Guide in Real Time

Remember Mia didn’t figure it out on her own.

If you saw the movie or read the The Princess Diaries, you know Mia had Joe.

A bodyguard, friend, and trusted guide.

Joe walked with Mia, trained her, and helped her adjust to a life she had never lived before.

Both had to take time to get to know one another and build this trust and communication.

That’s exactly who the Holy Spirit is for you.

Not a force.

Not a distant idea.

A Person.

He teaches you.

Reminds you of truth.

Gently redirects you.

Helps your thinking catch up to your identity.

But here’s the key:

You have to build relationship together.

You talk to Him.

You acknowledge Him.

You respond when He nudges you.

A Simple Practice That Changes Everything

This isn’t about doing more.

It’s about becoming more aware.

And the way you build that awareness… is through a simple daily rhythm.

Not perfection.

Not pressure.

Just consistent, intentional moments of connection.

Here’s what that can look like:

🌅 Morning

Begin your day with a simple acknowledgment.

💬 “Holy Spirit, guide me today.”

You’re not trying to feel something.

You’re reminding your mind of what is already true—He is with you.

🔁 Throughout the Day

At different points in your day, pause for just 60–90 seconds.

Take a breath.

Gently shift your attention inward.

💬 “Holy Spirit… I know You’re here.”

Then just notice.

No pressure. No striving.

You may sense peace. You may notice resistance. You may feel nothing at all.

That’s okay.

You’re building awareness—not chasing an experience.

In real-time moments, you can also acknowledge Him:

💬 “Holy Spirit, thank You for being with me.”

🌙 Evening

End your day with a quiet reflection.

Ask:

Where did I follow Your leading today?

Where did I override it?

Not to judge yourself…

But to learn.

This isn’t about getting it right.

It’s about training your mind to recognize what your spirit already knows.

Because here’s the truth:

Consistency—not intensity—is what creates change.

As you repeat this rhythm, something begins to shift.

Your thoughts start to quiet.

Your awareness begins to grow.

And what once felt unfamiliar…

Begins to feel natural.

This is how you move from striving… to walking with God in real time.

You’re Not Behind. You’re Learning

If this doesn’t feel natural yet… that’s okay.

That’s not failure.

That’s feedback.

You’re learning a new way to live.

A new way to think.

A new way to connect.

You are not striving your way to God.

You are learning how to walk with Him.

And that changes everything.

🤍 Prayer

Father—Thank You that through Jesus, we have access to You right now.

Thank You that we don’t have to strive, perform, or prove ourselves.

Holy Spirit, help us slow down.

Quiet the noise in our minds.

Settle our emotions.

And increase our awareness of Your presence.

Teach us how to walk with You… moment by moment.

Remind us who we are in Christ… and help us live like it.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Continue the Journey ➡️

⚠️ Disclaimer

The Day One of Sobriety podcast and blog content are for educational and spiritual growth purposes only. This content is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic care. If you are experiencing significant emotional distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional.

Brenda Kennison
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Hope for the Wandering Heart