The 3:1 Ratio Tool - Your Best Strategy for Calming Fear & Doubt
This blog post is a transcript of Episode 4 from the Day One of Sobriety Podcast
A Simple But Powerful Mind Renewal Tool
In this blog post I’ll explain how the 3:1 Ratio Tool can be used to calm our chaos and diffuse moments of anxiety and fear. These emotional and behavioral responses are triggered by a thought. The 3:1 Ratio targets the intrusive thought that is trying to throw you into a tailspin, cancels it, and has the power to restore you to a state of peace. As you use this tool over time, you overwrite fearful thoughts with love and truth; dismantling negative feedback loops.
By now you know my personal mantra: Knowledge fills you up, but application transforms you. That’s why I’m so excited to share this tool with you today. It’s not complicated and you’ll be able to use it right after this podcast. I’ve linked resources in the show notes and our FB community has a detailed guide and scriptures to help you master the 3:1 Ratio Tool.
In simple terms a 3:1 ratio means that for every three parts of one thing, there is one part of another thing. Like when making Kool-Aid. . . .You use 3 cups of sugar for every one packet of Kool-Aid mix. We weren’t allowed to drink soda when I was growing up, but we downed kool-aid in the summer time like it was a life-giving force. For you younger listeners, Kool-aid was the old-school version of today’s energy drinks.
I want you to picture a seesaw. The kind you see at the playground. Now imagine two equally sized kids on each side. They’d be able to balance the seesaw straight, hovering above the ground on each side. Add a second kid to one side and it’s out of balance, and when a third is added to that same side, it can cause the poor kiddo on the other side to flip off as the seesaw comes crashing down into the grass from the weight of 3 kids to 1. We’ll come back to this seesaw example again in a little bit.
The Science Behind the 3:1 Ratio Tool
I’ve been a teacher for over three decades and I know for you to get the most out of the 3:1 Ratio Tool, it’s important to understand how and why it works. We’ll be looking at this principle through both a scientific and biblical lens.
Let’s start with science. I first came across the 3:1 Ratio Tool in Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book, Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess. In Chapter 9, “Directing Your Brain for Change,” Dr. Leaf explains how directed neuroplasticity practices activate the bridge connecting our conscious mind with our nonconscious mind. Neuroplasticity, also known as brain plasticity, refers to the brain’s remarkable ability to change and adapt.
One directed neuroplasticity practice, called the Quantum Zeno Effect, or QZE, uses the 3:1 ratio principle to engage in deliberate, intentional, and conscious efforts that prompt changes in the brain. In simple language? Whatever you think about most grows. Grows what? Positive or negative thoughts.
You are thinking all day long, which means you are building thoughts into your brain through your everyday routines, experiences, and activities. You will build either chaos or order.
Whatever you pay attention to, will get energy, and therefore grow into your mind and brain. Using the 3:1 Ratio tool intentionally directs that energy towards the positive so you can build order rather than chaos.
But not every daily experience and activity IS positive. You might be confronted by an angry boss, tangle with a disgruntled store employee, or argue with someone you love. How you react to these experiences is the key determining factor to the type of thoughts you will build.
A negative thought can sometimes overtake us, grow and spiral until we feel out of control. That’s when the 3:1 Ratio becomes a weapon to combat anxiety. It’s a self-regulation tool to restore your peace. And when you are calm, you are able to think rationally.
Psychologists Barbara Fredrickson and Marcial (Mar-see-al) Losado researched what they call the “Positivity Tipping Point.” They concluded that 3 positive emotions for each negative will tip the scales towards flourishing in life.
In Frederickson’s book, Positivity, she states that positive emotions change the way our minds and our bodies work—they change the very nature of who we are, down to our cells—transforming our outlook on life and our ability to confront challenges
Toxic emotional states, such as a rush of anxiety or anger, cause too much high beta and high gamma energy in the brain. The brain’s chemical factory releases negative chemicals into our system, and this combination makes our bodies feel awful. In order to rebalance this energy, we must correctly manage our focus and thoughts.
This management is applying Frederickson's 3:1 positivity ratio and looks like this: When you notice a negative thought, counter it with three positive thoughts to avoid ruminating and spiraling into a cycle of negativity.
Let me share a real life example. For many years my mother and I had a toxic relationship, and she could slice right through me with her words. Her criticism and judgements not only made me feel rejected, but I would come into agreement with the rejection.
During my healing journey I drew a boundary line with her, and we spent two years apart. When I had healed many of the toxic thoughts related to my mom, I began to spend time with her.
I’d changed, but she hadn’t. When she criticized and judged me, feelings of rejection would try to surface. Using the 3:1 ratio, I’d speak to the thought and remind myself that I was worthy, that I had accomplished many things, and I had many talents. I’d tell myself that she might not see these things, but it was my opinion that mattered most.
Let’s summarize the science: the directed thinking required in the 3:1 ratio tool tips the scales in the positive direction, calming the high intensity brain waves, improves self-regulation, changes the flow of brain chemicals, and interrupts negative thoughts from being wired into the brain.
The Bible and the 3:1 Ratio Tool
Now let’s look at the same 3:1 Ratio tool through a biblical lens. The Bible speaks about positivity as it relates to faith, hope, and trusting in God's plan. The scriptures emphasize the importance of cultivating a mindset rooted in God's word, His truth, and His promises.
As believers, we don’t need positive thinking, we need to have biblical thinking. When you think biblically, it not only transforms your mind, it transforms your life. Romans 12:1 reminds us, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”
Believers are “in this world, but we are not of this world.” We’ve been redeemed through Christ Jesus and in Luke 10:19, Jesus gives this instruction, “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.”
Biblical thinking is aligning your thoughts with God’s truth. This also means that the negative thought that’s troubling you should be treated for what it is – a lie.
It’s been my coaching experience that many Christians are right at home talking about Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit, but when it comes to discussing Satan, not so much. And often there’s mixed opinions about whether or not Satan is a real and active evil force in their daily lives.
The Bible explicitly refers to Satan as a liar. Jesus says this in John 8:44, "When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies". This highlights that lying is not just a primary action of his, but it’s WHO he is.
The devil's lies are not random or inconsequential. They are often a distortion of the truth and used to deceive, tempt, and ultimately lead people away from God and towards sin or destruction. He might distort the truth, sow doubt, or offer false promises to achieve his goals.
I’ll summarize the biblical principles as they relate to the 3:1 Ratio tool like this: Instead of using positive statements to direct your thinking, you use God’ truth found in the Bible to cancel the devil’s lie. All of the science principles related to the tool happen here too. These truth’s tip the scales in the positive direction, calms the mind and body, and cancels your agreement with the lie.
Connecting the Science With the Bible
I’ll share an ancient Native American tale to connect how the biblical truths work with the science of the 3:1 Ratio Tool.
One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought deeply and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one that you feed.”
Neuroscience has proven that whatever you think about most will grow.
The reality is that it's impossible to never think a negative thought. If you’ve been through hurtful experiences, which pretty much describes everyone, it’s likely you’ve wired in lies that must be dealt with.
For many years I operated with a mindset that I was unlovable. This mindset wasn’t created overnight. It was fueled from a collection of unhealthy relationships, hurts, and experiences. This mindset created a toxic personality that included perfectionism, a need to control, and belief that people pleasing gained acceptance. Despite my best efforts and because I knew no different, I was feeding the evil wolf, and that wolf was winning.
When I started using the 3:1 Ratio Tool as described by Dr. Leaf and Frederickson, I experienced changes in my thoughts. Since our thoughts drive our emotions, behaviors, bodily sensations, and perspectives, I saw changes in those as well.
Once I adapted the 3:1 Ratio Tool to use the “Living Word of God” to cancel the lies I had programmed into my mind, I experienced incredible breakthroughs, deliverance, and began to see myself through God’s eyes, not my own.
What’s the Difference Between the Two Approaches?
The previous example I shared used the following positive statements to cancel my fear of rejection:
1) I am worthy
2) I’ve accomplished many things
3) I have many talents.
I reminded myself that my mom might not see these things, but my opinion trumped hers. Notice in the scientific approach, the focus is on self. Early in my healing journey, I didn’t have much self-love. I could say the statements, but I needed to believe them too.
As I spent time daily with God through prayer and reading His Word, I developed a faith and hope in God’s love for me and a deep trust in God’s plans for me. Let me give you an example of what the 3:1 Ratio Tool looks like when science and the Bible combine.
Let’s go back to the playground seesaw we pictured at the start of this podcast. On one side of the seesaw is a lie you’ve programmed into your mind, but on the other side of the seesaw are three powerful truths from scripture that you speak over yourself.
When you do this, the weight of God’s truth and light comes crashing down and flips the lie off the other end. It’s spiritual warfare and you must wield your Sword of the Spirit.
When the fear of being unlovable would fill my mind, I’d speak directly to it and say:
1) My worth is defined by God (Gal. 1:10)
2) I am unconditionally loved by God (Rom 5:8); and
3) I am chosen and called for a purpose (Eph 2:10).
Rick Renner, a highly respected Bible teacher and author of Dressed to Kill, says this about spiritual warfare: “It is a mental condition, not a momentary gust of emotion to temporarily frighten away the devil. Real spiritual warfare is a determined and committed attitude of the mind.
This blog is designed to help you break destructive habits by implementing proven mind renewal solutions and tools. The 3:1 Ratio works and hundreds of my coaching clients attest to it. I want you to experience its power too. Remember, knowledge fills you up, but application will transform you.
Let me pray for you: Heavenly Father, I thank you for every one of these readers
and I lift them up to you to receive a fresh infilling of your love for them.
Shine your light into their darkness, guide them on their healing journey,
and bring them the hope and restoration found in your Truth. I pray in Jesus name, Amen!
Next Steps
I invite you to head over now to our Mind Renewal Solution Made Simple Facebook group where you’ll find resources to help you apply this tool. In the guides section you’ll find instructions with specific steps and examples you can follow to use the 3:1 Ratio Tool. I’ve also posted a list of over 30 scriptures to cancel any lie you’ve programmed in. Don’t stay stuck! Remember, you can wire out whatever you’ve wired in.
DISCLAIMER: The Day One of Sobriety blog is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Please consult your physician or doctor for all medical advice and counsel.
