Overthinking Everything? How to Find Peace by Surrendering Control
Do you ever feel like worry runs your life?
Maybe you can relate to the listener who wrote in: “I am always a nervous wreck. I worry about everything. I constantly question whether I’ve made the best decisions for myself and my family. I don’t think this is normal and it keeps me awake at night. What could this be, and how can I overcome this constant fear?”
If that resonates with you, you’re not alone. Worry is one of the most common struggles I hear about as a coach. The good news? Both science and Scripture show us that peace is possible.
My Story: When Worry Weighed Me Down
I’ve been there. Nights lying awake, brain replaying every “what if” scenario: What if I fail? What if I make the wrong decision? What if everything falls apart?
The more I tried to control every detail, the more out of control I felt. And here’s what I learned: worry doesn’t prevent tomorrow’s problems—it only steals today’s peace.
The Science of Worry
From a neuroscience perspective, worry is not just “in your head.”
The amygdala, your brain’s alarm system, is designed to detect threats. The problem is, it doesn’t distinguish between real danger and imagined danger.
The anterior cingulate cortex, your “gear shifter,” can get stuck replaying fears, leading to rumination and looping thoughts.
Over time, feeding those “what if” thoughts wires worry into a habit. Neural pathways become like well-worn trails.
Here’s the hope: neuroplasticity. Your brain can be retrained. You can wire out what you’ve wired in, replacing worry loops with peace pathways.
What God’s Word Says
Scripture consistently reminds us that peace isn’t found in control — it’s found in surrender:
“Do not be anxious about anything…” (Philippians 4:6–7)
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast.” (Isaiah 26:3)
“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” (Proverbs 12:25)
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:27; Luke 12:25)
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
And Proverbs 3:5–6 sums it up beautifully: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
The Illusion of Control
One of the main drivers of worry is the desire to control outcomes. But your circle of control is actually very small. You can choose your words, actions, and attitudes — but you can’t control the future, other people, or circumstances.
Parenting: You can guide and love your children, but you can’t control every choice they make.
Finances: You can work hard and budget wisely, but you can’t control the economy or unexpected bills.
Health: You can take care of your body, but you can’t control genetics or every outcome.
Worry says: “It’s all up to me.”
Peace says: “It’s all in God’s hands.”
Practical Tool: Catch–Shift–Thank–Release
Here’s a simple 4-step strategy you can use to retrain your brain and release worry to God:
Catch the Thought 🕵️♀️
When worry strikes, pause and say aloud: “This is fear talking, not truth.” Labeling it calms your brain’s alarm system.Shift the Focus 🔄
Move from “what if” to “even if.” Example: “Even if I don’t choose perfectly, God is still guiding my steps” (Proverbs 3:5–6).Thank 🙏
Speak gratitude aloud: “Lord, I thank You for…” Gratitude activates your brain’s reward circuits, lifting your perspective.Release 🙌
Pray: “Lord, I release this into Your hands.” Spoken surrender rewires your brain to associate letting go with peace.
Try pairing this with a breath prayer:
Inhale: “Peace of God.”
Exhale: “Guard my mind.”
Your Transformation Challenge
Knowledge fills you up, but application transforms you. This week, when worry starts to spiral:
Catch–Shift–Thank–Release.
Write down one area you need to release control.
Pray Proverbs 3:5–6 over it daily.
Every time you practice this, you’re training your brain toward peace and training your heart to trust God.
Final Encouragement
Friend, you don’t have to live weighed down by worry. Your brain can be rewired. Your heart can be anchored. Your spirit can rest — not because you’re in control, but because He is.
Peace isn’t found in managing every detail. Peace is found in surrender.
